we can't be trusted

Slumped down in the sage green chair of our living room, I read Perry my newest revised pages that I had prepared to send to my editor. He could hear the doubt in my voice.⁣
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“What’s wrong?” he asked. "These pages are good, babe. Heavy, but that’s what makes them good.”⁣
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I couldn’t even crack a smile. I’d worked so hard on them, almost to the point of tears, and I wanted to feel proud of them. But I didn’t. I felt defeated and exhausted. I thought the pages were trash and couldn’t believe I had busted my ass for such mediocre drivel.⁣
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Perry said I just needed a break to be able to hear them clearly. He said sometimes when he’s working on a song, he’ll listen to it and he’ll feel nothing, but then other times, he’ll cry because it hits him so hard. ⁣
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I’ve felt that way about my pages too. So, why then do we put ourselves through all the drama and agony of doubt and self-loathing? The whole conversation was a good reminder that self-perception cannot be trusted, so we might as well save ourselves the trouble and just be proud of what we create and the work we put into it.⁣
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It takes the same amount of energy, if not more, to be all negative and down on ourselves, so why bother? I know, it’s human nature—we’re connected to our own insecurities, neurosis, and negative beliefs, blah blah blah, but we don’t have to let them rule us.⁣
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Look at yourself from the outside. You get to choose how you perceive your reality. So, make it good. Stop investing everything you have in believing you’re not good enough. Don’t waste an ounce of energy letting self doubt hold you back. Okay, so I’m talking to myself here, but hey, I’m not the only one who needs to hear this, right? Back me up, y’all.