life keeps happening

There’s been more hard days than good days lately. What a weird time we live in. It seems like it’s everything all the time all at once and I’d love to just hit pause for just a tiny moment, just to catch my breath. But there is no pause button. Life keeps happening.⁣
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All I can do is just move through it without giving up. Part of me is like, “come at me, motherfucker,” y’know? Where I feel like a warrior and unbreakable regardless of what life throws at me. But then another part of me just wants to curl up in the fetal position and sleep for a thousand years. “Wake me when it’s over,” y’know?⁣
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But either route, the days go on and I have to decide how I want to move through them. We’re never spared from sorrow. We’re never spared from pain. But what I have learned through my morning reading and mediation sessions is to learn to sit with the pain. I used to run. I used to escape into drinking, sex, partying, but it never mattered how much or how far I ran, the pain always found me. So now, I sit. And I feel and it hurts and I’m tired. But I’m here.