The one year wedding anniversary is symbolically marked with a gift of paper and while I normally don’t do anything “traditional” I loved the sentiment of this. When this tradition started over a hundred years ago, paper wasn’t the throwaway commodity like most people treat it today. It was handmade, expensive, and beautiful. Also, paper is given as the first year gift because the early years of a marriage (like paper) are fragile yet withstanding. If you treat paper with care it will hold its written words for a lifetime, but if you don’t then it may tear or fade. I love all of this and to celebrate our first year I surprised Perry with a book dedication in my memoir. I always knew I’d dedicate it to him, but he had no idea. I had a vision of writing the dedication and not revealing it to him until the book was published, but I couldn’t wait. I printed out all 390 pages, wrapped the book in wine-colored ribbon, and placed it in a white box. One day these pages will be bound and sitting on the shelf in our favorite bookstores. You’ll be able to read not only the whole dedication, but the story that Perry pulled out of the deepest parts of my soul. Until then, I’ll leave you with the first line because I have a thing about first lines.

For Perry, without you this book wouldn’t exist.

And it wouldn’t. In the early days of our love we’d lay in bed until the late afternoon talking about where we came from, sharing stories about our fathers, remembering moments of our mothers, and everything in between. He saw the truth and importance of my story and encouraged me to write it. With that encouragement came unwavering support. He helped me push through the hard memories, past the blocks, and into the raw truths that connect us all. He made dinner, uncorked endless bottles of wine, and made sure I had the quiet I needed to write. I can’t tell you how many times he picked me up when I was sinking into a well of self-doubt or how many hours he sacrificed to listening to pages of revisions & shitty drafts. I truly wouldn’t have been able to do this without him.

I love you, my darling. Thank you for seeing the good here even when I didn’t.