love anyway

These photos that Nirav Patel captured show so much truth. I can feel the weight of my body releasing into Mom. I can feel her hand on my back. Through the life I’ve lived and books I’ve written I’ve learned the importance of loving the ones who you hold dear to your heart—even when they fuck up, even when they disappoint you, even when they don’t have the capacity to love you in the way you need to be loved. I’ve learned that one day, things might change. They might change. But even if they don’t, I’ve learned to love anyway. ⁣
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I’ve learned to love the Mom that robbed houses, ran from the cops, and came home wearing a stolen fur coat. To love the Mom that I could only visit behind the bulletproof glass of the visiting ward. To love the Mom who was best friends and prison roommates with Susan Atkins from the Manson Family and I learned to love Susan in the process. To love the Mom who is working through recovery thirty-three years later. To love the Mom who is trying to find her place in the world after spending the entirety of her life in a meth-laden existence. ⁣
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The Mom I wrote about in Flames and the Tin Foil is so different from the Mom I know now. Hear an excerpt from the story in my newest Words After Dark video and you can read the full story in From the Dust.
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The thing is, I loved her then just as much as I love her now. Through the darkness and out the other side, my love has never wavered.

Because through it all, love anyway.